After Thoughts

It's been pretty hard getting a handle on the emotional aspects of this thing. I could never have imagined how something like that would affect me, and the people around me. One good thing that came from it though, is a new appreciation for things we've always taken for granted. I don't think it's something we'll ever get over, because it's left scars I can't even begin to explain. It's left me feeling more vulnerable than I ever have before, but that might not be a bad thing in the long run. Like I said before - there's a lesson here, and I think it's for all of us.

I think part of the lesson is to never take anything for granted, whether it be material things, or the people around you. You never really know what you'll miss, or how much you'll miss it, until it's not there anymore.

I've heard it asked, why God would allow something like this to happen. I don't think God allowed it. It just is. But I have no doubt God had His hand on us - that's why we're still here. And if he did allow it, maybe it was a wake up call. I know it woke me up.

I had a lot of trouble believing in God for a long time, and had it not been for my grandmother, I'm not sure I would believe at all. My grandmother always had a way of explaining things, and putting them in perspective so even I could understand them, when I was young. She died in the hospital one time, but came back. She told me afterwards, she went to Heaven, and God spoke to her. He told her it wasn't her time yet - that she still had something to do on earth. She was very sad about this, and asked me: "What did I do that God doesn't want me?" If you could have seen the look on her face, and heard the quiver in her voice when she asked me this, it would have broken your heart, right along with mine. I told her, it wasn't that God didn't want her - there was just something left here for her to do, and several months later, my youngest son died in a repelling accident. It was my grandmother's faith, and words of comfort that helped my family and I get through that horrific time in our lives. Six months later, my grandmother passed away. Her job was done, and God took her home.

I can still hear my grandmother's words of wisdom, and I'm so thankful I had her in my life. She was a wonderful teacher, the best of friends, and the most God loving, faithful person I have ever known. Without the guidance she gave me through my early years, I wouldn't have the faith I have today. That faith has gotten me through a lot, especially lately, and I thank her, and love her so much for that. Her faith, and God's love. What more could I need?