I am a person who often struggles to find the right words to say on many occasions. I might mean to say one thing, but say another, and may say something else, and it not come out at all like I planned. And even if I do say what I actually mean to say, it can be taken completely out of context by the listener, and take on a whole different meaning. It's even worse, if you're "talking" on the internet. People can't hear your tone, or see your body language, and what you meant as an off-handed remark, could come off as callous, or sarcastic. Let's face it - words can make us laugh, or make us cry, make us mad, or embarrass us. Words can bring comfort. Words can also hurt. Each, and every one of us is guilty of opening our mouths, before we engage our brains, and sometimes the words we spit out, can't be taken back, no matter how much we'd like to. Words can be more dangerous a weapon than a gun, and can truly, in some cases, do more damage than a gunshot wound. Where a lot of physical wounds can be healed, a lot of emotional wounds cannot. While a gunshot can damage the flesh, words can damage the soul.
I'm quite sure I'm not the only parent who has flown off the handle, and said things to my children I should not have said. But the look in that child's eyes when you do this, is enough to squeeze your chest so tight, it makes it hard to breath. You know, the second the words fly out of your mouth, they were the wrong thing to say, and even if you fall on your knees, and tell that child how sorry you are, you can't take away the sting of those words. You can gloss over the situation, and a child will usually forgive you - they're just so good about that when they're little - but trust me - somewhere, deep down, they'll remember. We, as parents, need to realize we're the adults, and as such, we should think before we speak. Don't break a child's spirit with a miss-spoken word. I'm sure we all remember what that felt like when we were children. I know I do. Words can stick with a person long after the conversation is over.
Miss-spoken words between the best of friends can end a friendship as fast as the sentences come out of your mouth. It doesn't matter if you're pissed off, or who did what to whom, if you're truly good friends, you shouldn't say words to intentionally inflict pain. Friends don't do that. Friends should talk. Husbands, and wives should talk. Because as much as words can hurt, they can also help someone to heal. They can lift up a spirit that is torn, and broken. They can make a child feel pride in an accomplishment. They can make a husband feel appreciated. They can make a wife feel loved. They can make a complete stranger feel worthy.
We should teach our children the value of words, so they will know to not use words as a weapon. They should know how to use words to lift someone up, calm someone down, make a point without being hurtful, defend themselves, if necessary without being nasty. They should learn to never, ever use words to bully someone. They should learn to use words as a means to work things out, instead of escalating a situation. They should learn to use words as an art to communication.
Whoever coined the phrase "Sticks, and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me" had very little knowledge of how powerful, and hurtful words can really be. Sticks, and stones can indeed break your bones, but words can break something so much more fragile.
